Tamara Letter

The Gaming Child

February 10, 2019February 10, 2019 Tamara

He received the game as a Christmas gift.

With the other surprises of the day, he didn’t open the game right away, but when he did, he was hooked.

He sat for hours in his gaming chair, eyes glued to the screen, as he manipulated the controller in his hand to make the character move through one challenge to the next.

He was searching for moons.

He was collecting coins.

He was trying to get to the next level.

He was so engaged with his gaming, he didn’t hear the call to come to dinner and lost all interest in building Legos.

His behavior persisted throughout the winter break and into the new year as he and his older brother bargained and battled for gaming time on the device.

He stopped reading books. He didn’t want to play outside. His entire focus was wrapped inside that game.

As an educator, it’s easy for me to read the story above and fall into the abyss of my bias. To pass judgment on that child. To pass judgment on that parent. To shake my head and lament about life “back in my day” then make a direct correlation to the child’s gaming patterns and his average reading ability. After all, if he spent less time gaming and more time reading, he would receive better grades, become a star student, and master his standardized assessments.

But this story is different. I’m not passing judgment because “that” child is mine and “that” parent is me.

I’m writing this post to let you know that my child is fine, and yours will be, too.

My son received a Nintendo Switch gaming system for Christmas, a shared gift with his older brother who is in high school. Both boys received a chosen game to go with the device and they have played on the system nearly every day since we got it.

But here are the details you didn’t get to read above.

Each day my youngest son begs for us to play Mario Odyssey with him, because he knows we have a greater chance to win a level if we work together.

When he’s not playing the game, he’s watching YouTube videos created by others to learn better strategies on how to master various levels with the greatest number of coins.

He invited a friend over to play the game with him, something this somewhat introverted child never does, as we don’t have many neighbors his age nearby.

We made the gaming day happen, and the joy on his face was immeasurable.

He has battled his own frustration to the point where we have nearly sent him to his room. He has discovered that sometimes persistence and perseverance require not more grit, but a change in task and location.

As his mom, I could have very easily placed time limits on his gaming throughout the week. “No games until the weekend,” or “Only 20 minutes today.” But I know what it’s like to be SO EXCITED TO DO SOMETHING only to be told no repeatedly.

It crushes the soul and makes you resentful over time.

I also know what it’s like to be at school all day, followed by hours at after-school care, when all you want is some time to yourself doing something that makes you happy.

I remember what it’s like to be nine years old.

As I watch my son playing his game, and invest MY time getting to know about HIS passion, I discover he’s learning things I would have never thought to teach him.

He is solving complex algorithms as he patiently reminds me, “No, Mommy, you can’t do it that way. You can’t just jump. You have to ground pound, then jump, then do a half wall jump, then throw your hat where you want to land, then dive. That’s how you do it.”

He has become the teacher, and I am his student.

I am fiercely protective of my child, as many Momma Bears are, but I am also a seasoned educator and parent with more than twenty years of experience as both.

My son will be fine.

Yours will, too.

If you are concerned about your child’s gaming interests, take the time to learn more about their passion. What is it about the game that intrigues them? What challenges must they overcome to win? What keeps them coming back to play again?

When my oldest son, Daniel, was obsessed with Minecraft, I discovered his innate ability to match colors and shading to create masterpieces of art. Hours of designing and creating sparked an interest in engineering and chemistry, both of which he is exploring in high school. In fact, he once spent an entire afternoon presenting at our district’s Leadership Conference about how to use Minecraft to teach math and science.

When he was in fourth grade.

Daniel first designed the inside of the St. Louis Cathedral in New Orleans, LA (notice the complex shading and symmetry from Minecraft blocks).

Daniel then designed the outside of the cathedral wrapped around his previous creation, all from looking at this photo.

Daniel showing district leaders how to apply Minecraft to math and science during our district’s annual Leadership Conference.

As I look across the room at my youngest child, Caleb, I am mesmerized by his ability to remember exactly which kingdom has which star power and his intuitive skill at reading various maps to discover the treasure he seeks.

And just this week, this same nine year old did something I didn’t think was possible.

He actually beat the game.

999 moons. 43 souvenirs. 82 music tracks. Bowser was defeated and he had the joy of seeing every variety of bird on the final ledge, including the elusive penguin.

He even received a digital celebratory postcard showing every single character displayed in the game.

The level of pride my son has for achieving this goal rivals that of student who has received a Principal’s List award at a school assembly.

He knows the satisfaction of accomplishment.

He may never read a 500 page novel and I’m OK with that. (Although, as his book-loving Momma, you can rest assured he is surrounded with books throughout the house should he change his mind!)

He may never play on the high school soccer team and I’m OK with that, too. (Not for lack of trying, of course. He’s done his time with basketball and soccer, neither of which garnered much enthusiasm. Even his interest in swimming waned as he grew older.)

He can put together a 1200 piece Lego set and meticulously create masterpieces with Perler beads, much like his older brother. Perhaps, just perhaps, he is bound for a greater success than I can even imagine in a career that hasn’t yet been created.

It makes me ponder my own instruction as an educator, and wonder if there’s a way we can link this gamification mindset to required curriculum standards in such a way that students can apply these skills to the classroom, too. Are we really preparing our students for future success in this digitally enhanced world?

I don’t have answers, only insights to my child.

I don’t have judgment towards you if you raise your child a different way.

I’m simply bringing to light my experiences and putting them out there from my perspective as I support my child’s passion and celebrate his success.

He’s going to be just fine.

education, ITRT, reflection

Coding is My Jam

January 27, 2019January 27, 2019 Tamara

As a technology integrator and instructional coach, much of my interaction with teachers is supporting them in their efforts to use technology in their day-to-day work with students. Their technological expertise ranges from novice to advanced, so each collaboration is personalized to take them from whatever level they are currently at to helping them reach the next level. The goal is to push up a notch, not push off a cliff!

Many subjects align nicely with technology. Digital writing is a great way to reinforce grammar and composition skills. Recording reading makes oral fluency more relevant and easier to assess. Interactive activities that layer text, photo, and more provide students an opportunity to create products to showcase their learning in ways that didn’t exist before.

There are times, however, when we need students to engage in learning experiences that may not be directly tied to testing standards. That’s when it gets a little tricky, because we all know how limited that precious commodity of time is with jam-packed schedules and multiple pacing guides to follow.

In Virginia, we do not follow the Common Core curriculum. Instead, we have our own state guidelines called the Virginia Standards of Learning (SOLs). In November 2017, our state approved Computer Science Standards of Learning for all grades K-8 with specific course standards for the high school level. A quick glance of these standards might give a general classroom teacher heart palpitations as the verbiage is tough to deconstruct if you are not familiar with technical computing language.

Understanding these challenges, coupled with the reality that I am only available in one school 2 days a week (with an occasional 3 day week here and there), I have to get a little creative to find ways to support teachers for their requests while also providing additional experiences that bring non-tested curriculum directly to the students.

Enter the world of collaborative coaching.

Several times a month I sit down with the gifted-talented teacher at my school, Maureen Ambrose, to compare notes on lessons we are doing with teachers and students. When we first began our collaborative planning sessions last year, we mainly touched base to make sure we were on the right track and brainstormed ideas; now we use the time to extend our conversation to creating unique learning experiences for individual classes and grade levels as a whole.

It started with Pirate Day in the fall, where we used a common theme to focus on three learning experiences using technology, one of which was coding with Ozobot robots. Each station was led by either me, Maureen, or the classroom teacher. We offered Pirate Day two days with flexible signup and it was so popular we will offer it again for another two days this spring!

This month, we focused specifically on third grade classes, inviting them to a “Coding is My Jam” learning experience with each station focused on various coding skills. As Brian Aspinall, author of Code Breaker states, “I don’t want all kids to code, but I do want all kids exposed to coding.” (His blog post about going beyond the Hour of Code reminded us of the importance for students to have these experiences all year long, not just in December!)

For Coding is My Jam Day, we transformed our Innovation Lab into a coding studio with three designated areas for each of our activities:

Robot Coding – Create a sequence code using designated cards, then input the directions into a remote control and watch the Botley robot move from start to finish. If the output doesn’t work the first time, analyze the code and debug to try again!
Coding is My Jam – Using the Osmo “Coding Jam” block coding kit, work with a partner to create unique beats for various instruments to design a new musical soundtrack!
Binary Bracelets – Discover the wonderful world of binary code! After a brief overview of the history and purpose of binary code, use a basic binary coding sheet to create an 8-bit code identifying your initials. Then, after planning out your design using a basic storyboard, replace the code with colored beads to string on a pipe cleaner, creating a “readable” coding bracelet. If time allows, you can complete extension activities to create a secret message for a friend using binary code or answer riddles by deciphering the coded answers.

Botley Robot materials — We created squares on our tile floor for Botley to maneuver through.

Materials used to create Binary Bracelets

Coding Jam Osmo kit with iPad on display — Osmo Coding Jam station

Coding sheets — Extension activities (with Table Talk Math mats below!)

A quick photo of Maureen and I before all the fun begins!

Prior to our coding day, Maureen visited each third grade classroom to read the book, How to Code a Sandcastle, and play an unplugged coding game called “Let’s Go Code” to build a bit of coding background knowledge. It was a quick interactive intro to hook them in for what was to come!

When Coding is My Jam Day arrived, students entered our coding studio and sat on the floor as Maureen provided a brief overview of each station. During that time, I took the classroom teacher to her station and shared details in how to guide students in their learning. We then began the rotations, using a timer on our cell phone to notify us when it was time to switch stations. We made sure to include a brief discussion at the end, emphasizing the challenges and lessons learned in coding.

What I love about this three station model for learning is that every single student in the class gets to experience every activity in a way that encourages communication, collaboration, critical thinking, and even creativity. There is equity in access to the technology and having three adults in the room helps to guide conversations and pitfalls that inevitably occur.

Testing the output to see if there are any bugs in the code.

Students work together to create a block code. — Lots of critical thinking when the levels get harder!

Students coding with block coding tiles from Osmo. — Collaboration makes block coding fun!

Student mapping out her initials using binary code and a planning page. — Creating the binary code as a story board before creating the bracelet.

Student creating a Binary Bracelet using beads and a pipe cleaner. — Binary bracelet success!

For the classroom teacher, it was a 75 minute commitment (30 minute pre-lesson one day and 45 minutes on the Coding is My Jam day), but hit on several of the Computer Science SOLs which actually maximized the time spent. Best of all, we had no behavior issues for either experience, as all students were actively engaged exploring unique tasks that challenged their thinking in a non-threatening way. We even saw several students wearing their binary code bracelets throughout the week!

While there was a bit of work on the pre-planning side (you don’t host an adventure like this without having a strong plan of action!), the actual day of implementation was relatively easy and provided flexibility for Maureen and I to rotate through the other stations offering additional support. We also captured the learning with quick videos to a Flipgrid grid with three topics for the stations we used.

Overview of our Flipgrid topics — Flipgrid Topics for capturing learning

We look forward to offering additional learning opportunities like this throughout the year and encourage others to give it a go, too. You might be surprised how much joy can arise from three little stations in your day! We also want to give a huge “Thank You” to the Virginia Professional Educators for supporting creating learning experiences such as this and providing funding for us to purchase materials to make this day a success!

Used with permission from Sylvia Duckworth

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family, kindness, travel

Car Compassion

January 21, 2019January 21, 2019 Tamara

Having reliable transportation is a necessity in this day and age. From work to play, we all need the certainty that we can get from here to there.

My car is relatively new… well, new in my head. I received my Honda CRV on Mother’s Day 2015, a replacement for the family van I had used for my three children when my second job was affectionately referred to as “Mom Taxi.” I was delighted with the upgrade as I’ve always loved Hondas and knew it would be a great investment. (Take a peek at my Honda Civic post if you want to know more about my love for Hondas!)

For the past three years, I’ve driven this car with very few issues. Then in September 2018, while sitting at a stoplight less than a mile from our home, we were rear-ended and pushed into the middle of the intersection, a result of a three-car accident.

The first responders were gracious and kind, checking on all of us to make sure we didn’t have any injuries. Of the three cars involved in the accident, ours was the only one that wasn’t totaled by the impact.

First responders showed kindness to our kids in the backset making sure they were OK from the car accident. — First responders showing kindness as they check on our children in the backseat.

It was Labor Day and we were headed to the International Spy Museum in Washington, D.C. We quickly figured out alternative transportation so that our vacation day wasn’t ruined, and finally made it to our destination. Unfortunately, we missed our scheduled entrance time where we had pre-purchased tickets (five hours late!)

A photo of the International Spy Museum in Washington, D.C.

As we explained the situation to the man guarding the entrance door, he whisked us inside to look up our reservation. Then, with a smile on his face, he let us know that he refunded the cost of our four tickets. We could enjoy the museum for free! (We later learned his name was Unray Headon, the director of the museum!)

A photo of me with the the director of the International Spy Museum as he hands me a printed receipt with our admission tickets comped. — Car compassion = free admission!

Our car was rebuilt and I was back on the road again.

In October, I had my interview for the R.E.B. Award for Teaching Excellence to answer questions before a panel about my love for teaching, my passion for kindness, and my project proposal set before them.

That afternoon was a bit of a mad scramble as I met with a teacher after school, providing a short personalized professional development session, then had to pick up my youngest child from daycare before heading home to change clothes and drive across town to arrive in time for my scheduled interview.

As I drove across a bridge, my son safely secured in the backseat, I heard a pop and felt the car shake. I quickly guided my car to the side of the road right after the bridge and got out to assess the damage. Sure enough, my back rear tire was flat.

O.M.G.

My first instinct was to panic and scream, “I HAVE TO BE AT THIS INTERVIEW!!” Instead, I calmly called my husband, who was on his way to the high school to pick up our other son from cross country practice. My next call was to my dad.

“Can I borrow your car? I need it immediately!” It took a few moments for my words to sink in, after all, how many forty-six year old adults call their dad and ask to borrow the car? We quickly worked out logistics and I made it in time for the interview.

Best of all, my dad was there when my school district honored me as a 2018 R.E.B. Award for Teaching Excellence recipient. Without his kindness, I would have never made it to the interview and would not have had an opportunity to share my passions with others or win this prestigious award.

A photo of me with my dad as I'm holding my R.E.B. Award for Teaching Excellence certificate from my school district. — Me and my dad (Pappy)

What caused that tire to deflate in an instant? An unbelievably sharp piece of metal that could have caused even more damage to someone else.

A sharp piece of metal that was wedged in my car's tire. — This was wedged in my car’s tire.

In November, as I was in a planning meeting with two other teachers, I heard an urgent call over the loud speaker. “If you drive a Honda CRV with license number… please report to the faculty parking lot immediately!” My stomach instantly dropped because I knew it was my car.

Again.

As I approached my car, a small crowd started to gather, curious to see what happened. Apparently a truck had backed into a parking space and gave my car a little “love tap” with the hitch on the back of his vehicle. There just happened to be a police officer there in the moment who took down the information and reassured me that the damage to my car was minimal.

Several teachers offered empathy and compassion as they inquired about my car, checking in with me that day and the days that followed.

Remembering the superstition, “Bad things come in threes,” I figured I had paid my car troubles’ dues and could breathe a little easier.

Until this week, when my car wouldn’t start in the daycare parking lot.

As I sat there trying to start the ignition, a man walked past the front of my car and approached my driver’s side window. “I don’t think that’s going to start,” he said. “If you want, I can give you a jump and see what the problem might be.”

Fifteen minutes later, I was back in business, thanks to the kindness of this complete stranger who saved the day! (I later learned his name is Tyler with TowTrans – if you need a tow from kind people, check out their Facebook page!)

A photo of me and Tyler, the man who jump-started my car in the daycare parking lot. — Tyler saved the day!

I am reminded of Fred Rogers and the story he shares of his mom’s advice in times of distress: “Always look for the helpers… There’s always someone who is trying to help.”

Today, as we celebrate the life of Martin Luther King, Jr. I am reminded of the importance of paying-it-forward by the words he spoke so eloquently: “Life’s most persistent and urgent question is: “What are you doing for others?”

Empathy and compassion are the cornerstones of kindness. May we all look for opportunities to uplift and inspire human kind.

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education, ITRT, kindness, reflection

Innovative Kindness

January 13, 2019January 13, 2019 Tamara

In our Passion for Kindness Facebook group, we share uplifting posts and videos we see online. Often, it’s kindness given, received, or witnessed. Sometimes it’s a quote of inspiration. I love to see which posts resonate with others. I find that surrounding myself with positive people, even on digital platforms, helps to focus on the good instead of the bad.

About a month ago, I came across a video of a color-blind man receiving a gift from his family: specially crafted glasses that would allow him to see the world around him in vibrant hues of brilliance. As he eagerly unwrapped the glasses and put them on his face, his demeanor completely changed, the drastic change to his sight rendering him speechless, in tears.

The video tugged my heartstrings and made me ponder the impact of empathy and compassion as it relates to innovation. According to the Institute of Design at Stanford, known as Stanford d.school, empathy is not only an integral part of the design thinking process, it’s the very first step. “To create meaningful innovations, you need to know your users and care about their lives.” (Download “An Introduction to Design Thinking PROCESS GUIDE” to learn more.)

I wanted to bring this concept of Innovative Kindness into the classroom, so I created a lesson that would showcase examples of innovations sparked by the kindness of others then lead into a discussion of empathy and compassion.

With students in Mrs. Cross’, Mrs. Miller’s, and Ms. Miller’s classes, we viewed the video of the color-blind man then watched another video of a cat whose owners created a wheeled attachment for his paralyzed hind legs, adding ramps throughout their house to overcome climbing steps. His owners even adapted their innovation to include a handle, so they could assist their feline when he had to climb multiple steps in a row.

We discussed those key words: empathy and compassion. For nine and ten year olds (and even adults!) the words are sometimes used interchangeably. We spent several minutes showing how empathy – that feeling of relating to someone else’s struggle or pain – can lead to compassion, which is empathy in action. We then related those words to the design process, how kindness in action sparks innovation.

Katie Martin reinforces this concept in her book, Learner Centered Innovation: Spark Curiosity, Ignite Passion, and Unleash Genius: “When we empower learners to explore and learn how to make an impact on the world, we inspire problem-solvers and innovators.”

Our classroom conversations shifted to the power of innovation in making the world a better place for others. I shared the graphic below as an introduction to the 17 Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) of the United Nations.

SDG poster courtesy of https://sustainabledevelopment.un.org/sdgs

We discussed world problems and their impact on humanity. We shined a light on our lives in the United States and the many things we might assume others have like water fountains and quality education. We pondered the challenges that children in other countries face daily.

We then decided that we wanted to change the world, too.

Offering students the choice to work independently, in pairs, or with a small group, we challenged them to identify a problem and create a solution, focusing on the who before the what.

We provided Design Crews with a note sheet to record their planning, then we set them loose in our Innovation Lab’s makerspace – free to use any materials for any purpose. The greatest constraint they faced was time; they only had 20 minutes to create a plan of action and design a prototype.

To download this FREE template, visit http://bit.ly/KindTempShare.

It was incredible to see how quickly our students dove into this activity. They were so engaged! Their collaborative efforts quickly came together as they communicated with the group, one person often refining the ideas of another after testing out their prototype.

Their excitement was contagious! They all wanted to share their innovations that would improve lives of people, land animals, and aquatic life. With the remaining time in class, we guided students in using Flipgrid (many for the very first time!) to capture their creations with voice and video.

To view student videos, visit https://flipgrid.com/0a92a047

Many times teachers are hesitant to dive into hands-on projects citing lack of time or availability of resources. However, to transform learning experiences for students, we must make student agency a priority. In Learning Transformed: 8 Keys to Designing Tomorrow’s Schools, Today, Tom Murray and Eric Sheninger challenge us to “empower kids to own their learning (and school) through greater autonomy. It is driven by choice, voice, and advocacy.” When you find value in designing lessons with this purpose, you find a way to make it happen.

Through our Innovative Kindness lesson, students had an opportunity to take grade-level state standards and apply them in new, unique ways. They made connections to prior content regarding conservation, natural resources, and recycling. They also practiced the 5 C’s of communication, collaboration, creativity, critical thinking, and citizenship, all within the confines of one sixty-minute class period.

There are many creative ways to shine a light on kindness with your students. You might design a Kindness Scavenger Hunt like Laurie McIntosh in Canada or create a month-long virtual Kindness Read-Aloud like Karen Caswell in Australia. You could even introduce kind acts to your students by having them participate in The Great Kindness Challenge January 28 – February 1 by signing up your school and downloading a printable checklist to complete at school or home. (Many more kindness ideas to come when A Passion for Kindness is released next month!)

I would love to know ways you are shifting the focus towards student agency and innovation in your lessons. Comment below and share your inspirations! Together we can transform learning, one lesson at a time!

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education, family, kindness, reflection

What’s In a Name?

January 9, 2019January 9, 2019 Tamara

Last week a dear friend messaged me, apologizing profusely for mispronouncing my name during a podcast recording. Instantly, I felt empathy for her because I know very well the internal angst you feel in that exact moment of error.

I’ve been there before.

I laughed it off with reassurance that she wasn’t the first and she wouldn’t be the last. People mispronounce my name ALL the time.

They don’t do it to be disrespectful.

They don’t do it to be mean.

They simply don’t know the way my mom decided to pronounce it when she completed my birth certificate so many years ago.

Social Backlash

There have been many posts on social media about the importance of learning students’ names and pronouncing them correctly. I agree wholeheartedly that calling someone by their name – and saying it they way they prefer – adds a level of value to their day and reminds them that their name is important, therefore they are important.

It matters to children. It matters to adults. No debate there.

What troubles me are the social media posts where conversations shift from aiming for excellence to attacking for error. Is there no compassion for those who struggle to “get it right?”

I know the importance in learning someone’s name.

I also know the importance of giving someone grace when they mess it up.

So allow me to share a little vulnerability: I really struggle to remember all your names. And how they are spelled. And how they are pronounced.

I am in awe of those people in my world who have instant recall for everyone they’ve ever met. They match faces with names like Memory cards, winning each game they play.

I’m still trying to figure out why my Memory card is bent.

Weak Link

I have a weak link for recalling names (and multiplication facts, and my assigned lines in a theatrical production, and pretty much anything else that requires memorization.) I never used to address people by name unless I had to. Yes, I knew it was the polite and respectful thing to do, but the fear of saying a name incorrectly (or even worse – saying the wrong name or no name at all) kept my conversations nameless. I avoided introductions at all costs and mentally pleaded for name tags to be provided everywhere I went.

Despite my brain block, I do know who you are.

I recognize your smile and the way your eyes light up as we speak.

I instantly recall shared memories and moments, but for whatever reason your name might remain in the shadows of the corners of my mind.

I wish I could change that about myself. I work diligently to overcome my weaknesses. And yet… they still persist.

About a month ago, I was at a district event where I had invited my dad and his girlfriend to attend. I was introducing them to an educational leader, one whom I’ve known for years. I’ve worked with her on committees and supported initiatives in her building. But in the moment of introduction, I simply couldn’t recall her name. My brain went blank.

It happens.

There was an awkward pause as I prayed for God to save me and He did – the educator smiled at my family members and introduced herself as if no one even noticed my vocal paralysis.

That’s grace.

I recently read an article about Raisa Patel whose name is constantly mispronounced and it resonated with me for several reasons. I felt her pain of a mispronounced name. I felt my embarrassment knowing I’ve caused that feeling for others. I felt a little less alone when I learned about her classmate who resorted to writing down her name phonetically to make it easier to remember.

I do that, too.

In fact, you will often find me jotting down notes in my little aqua blue notebook. It’s one of the coping strategies I’ve created for myself over the years.

What’s In a Name?

Did you know that no one in my family calls me Tamara? It’s true. That’s my birth name, but one my mother never used. (Well, unless I was in trouble. Then she used my first name AND middle name AND last name all bunched together with one breath.)

Like several of you, I grew up with a nickname. People called me Tammy, but with a catch.

Everyone spelled it differently.

My mother spelled it Tammie. My teachers spelled it Tammy. Very rarely did the two spellings align. Sometimes it annoyed my mom, but most times we just overlooked the error and didn’t get riled up.

When I moved up from elementary school to junior high, I wanted to set myself apart from the crowd, be a little different, discover my uniqueness. I decided to change the spelling of my nickname the way I wanted it spelled. I dropped the final “e” and started writing Tammi on all my papers and hoped it would catch on with others.

It didn’t.

My mother continued to spell it Tammie and my teachers kept writing Tammy. Then I met another girl who spelled her name Tammi, so I dropped an “m” and reinvented myself as “Tami.”

In 9th grade I joined the marching band and discovered a clarinet player whose name was Tami. The only difference between our names was that she was born Tami, not Tamara, therefore she had greater claim to the name.

So I added back the “e” and became “Tamie.”

I remained Tamie to all my friends and relatives through high school and into college. Then I became engaged and realized my identity would change again as I took on my fiancé’s last name.

That’s when I decided to give the real name a go as I reinvented myself one more time.

Hello, Tamara.

New Life, New Name

Switching names was easier than I anticipated as I got married and moved to another state. I felt comfortable introducing myself as Tamara instead of Tamie and those whom I met were never the wiser of my 20+ years spent with a different name.

Until I moved back to my hometown twelve years later and my two worlds collided – those who knew me as Tamie and those who knew me as Tamara were now living in the same town.

Who am I anyway?

I gave up sending Christmas cards when it became too complicated to sign them. (Who is this card going to? Do they know me as Tamara or Tamie?)

The running joke in my family now is trying to guess which way my dad will spell my name on my birthday card. Each year it’s different and it always makes me laugh.

Move On

What should we do when we make a mistake with others? When we mispronounce a name or fall into the abyss of nameless darkness? When we’re not sure how to spell it, how to say it, how to recall it?

Own it.

Take a breath. Apologize. Ask them to repeat it. Acknowledge that you may mess it up again, but you will keep trying to get it right.

Then stop fretting over the mistake. Give yourself some grace, move on, and for the love of all things sane, please don’t berate others who are trying their best.

We are all works in progress and grace goes a long, long way.

The next time you see me at the grocery store or at the end of a presentation, please come up and introduce yourself. It’s OK if you say my name wrong. I won’t correct you because at the end of the day, it’s all good. You won’t hurt my feelings by pronouncing my name wrong.

I would much rather you say, “Hi,” messing up my name in the process than never saying, “Hi,” at all.

And for those who are really curious about how I pronounce my real name, I’ll share with you my own mnemonic:

“It’s Tamara, like camera, but spelled with all A’s.”

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education, ITRT, kindness, reflection

One Word 2019

January 1, 2019January 1, 2019 Tamara

Do you make New Year’s Resolutions? How does that work out for you? Do you make it to the end of the year with completed checkboxes? Are all your line items marked off the list?

For me, New Year’s Resolutions result in failure.

Every.

Single.

Time.

I used to create a long list of goals I wanted to accomplish, my Pollyanna optimism confident in my ability to complete each one. January would start off with a bang. February would bring about some challenges. By March and April I was drowning from the riptide and by June and July I couldn’t even tell you what my initial goals were, they were so long sunk to the bottom.

When I made New Year’s Resolutions, I created a year of frustration with unfulfilled, unrealistic expectations. It impacted my self-esteem and did absolutely nothing to help me become a better version of myself.

Then, the eureka moment. As 2015 came to a close with 2016 around the bend, I embraced the concept of choosing one word to focus on for an entire year. It completely changed my perspective of resolutions.

Here are the words I have chosen the past few years:

What’s fascinating in choosing a word to focus on is that is really does become a part of your soul. When I selected “joy” for 2016, I embraced it in every way possible. I became an honorary Joy Ambassador, following the examples set by Akilah Ellison and Theresa Holloran. I referenced joy in my blog posts. I was drawn to all things joyful and it really helped me get through a tough year.

In 2017, “resilience” reminded me that I could survive the lowest of lows. I held my mother’s hand as she took her final breath, then found a way to keep moving forward.

And then, it was 2018. I wanted a word that was filled with hope for good things to come. I wanted a word that embodied the gift I wanted to share with others. There was only one word that came to mind:

Inspire.

As I reflect on 2018, I am in awe of how the word “inspire” materialized like a self-fulfilling prophecy. My boss called it “The Year of Tamara” which made me laugh every time she said it, but now looking back, I have to admit it was a crazy, incredible year. Even in my reflections, I find myself shaking my head asking, “Did all this really happen to ME?”

In 2018…

I signed my first book contract with Dave Burgess Consulting, Inc. to write a book about kindness. (A Passion for Kindness: Making the World a Better Place to Lead, Love, and Learn will be released in February 2019 on Amazon and Barnes and Noble! Sign up for freebies, notifications, and more here!)

I celebrated a second year of Kindness Passion Projects at our Kindness Share Fair with forty students and their teachers, Lori Cross and Jennifer Madison, then presented with Lori and Jennifer at our district’s first Inspire conference.

Visitors at our Kindness Share Fair completed a Call to Action leaving notes of how they will scatter seeds of kindness in the world.

I was awarded Teacher of the Year for Mechanicsville Elementary School and advanced to the finalist round for our district, a first for a technology integrator in our school system.

I was interviewed by the local news not once, not twice, but three times to scatter seeds of kindness in our community. (Many thanks to Amanda McDaniel, our district’s Communication Specialist, who always helps to promote the great things happening with our schools!)

I gave my first out-of-district Keynote at the Clarke County Innovation Conference (and didn’t fall off the stage!)

I co-wrote three fully funded grants to bring creative learning experiences into the classroom, then inspired other teachers to do the same. (Many thanks to the Hanover Education Foundation and the Virginia Professional Educators for these opportunities!)

I survived a near-frigid rafting trip in a paradoxical thunderstorm down the Snake River in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, then survived five days of disconnect deep in the heart of Yellowstone AND a saw a black bear.

In person.

And lived to tell about it.

I traveled to Chicago, Illinois to learn from some of the most inspiring educators in the world at the ISTE Conference, then spent quality time getting to know many of my DBC heroes at dinner, in the city, and during the conference. I also got to enjoy a little team bonding along the way! (Many thanks to our incredible district who recognizes that those who provide PD for others need opportunities to get PD themselves!)

I completely overhauled my website and my Instagram account. I created a Facebook group about kindness and wrote 39 blog posts about my adventures throughout the year.

While writing a book.

While being a mom.

While losing half my summer break days with a job switch to an 11-month contract.

In 2018, I survived the one year anniversary of my mother’s death then mourned the loss of my precious neighbor, Ashton, who passed away at the age of 16.

16 Hope rocks created in memory of Ashton Friedl to hide around our community.

I received the R.E.B. Award for Teaching Excellence to cultivate kindness for global impact, which will take me across the United States and Canada in 2019 and 2020.

I presented four sessions at the VSTE conference, including a closing Ignite, while also leading the conference’s social media committee with the amazing Margaret Sisler. I presented twice at our local EdTechRVA Conference earlier in the year as well as led a multitude of PD sessions for my district.

I wrote an article for DisruptED TV Magazine and recorded podcasts with Character Speaks, Edustations, and The Kindness Podcast.

Looking back, I’m in awe of all the opportunities I had to inspire others through my words and actions. Even though I did all these things in the course of a year, my greatest insight about the word “inspire” came when I stopped to reflect on each item listed above.

I couldn’t have done any of them if I didn’t have the support of others.

See, it’s easy to view the end result and stand in awe at the person waving the flag on the top of the mountain. But what about all the safety harnesses the person wears as he scales the walls to the top? What about all the slips that occur from not having your feet firmly planted or misjudging the weight a rock can hold before it crumbles? What about the times when the top seems unreachable and you don’t know if you will ever make it through?

In my 2018 journey, I made several mistakes and encountered failure along the way. What kept me pushing through wasn’t my willpower alone, but the encouragement of my friends, coworkers and virtual PLN.

Inspiration begins in the heart one, but magnifies on the shoulders of many.

Every single thing I did last year was the result of some form of collaboration with amazing people in my world. Perhaps it was a conversation or a brilliant moment of connectivity. Maybe it was the result of weeks laden with brainstorming, planning, and preparation. Quite possibly, it was the culmination of a lifelong journey of passion, persistence, and patience.

It was in this time of reflection that I discovered the one word that will carry me through this next year:

Uplift.

This year, I want my words and actions to uplift others.

I want to cheer you on and celebrate your accomplishments.

I want to help you take that next step when you are filled with fear.

I want to help you rise, help you soar, help you make your wildest dreams come true.

I want to be here for you, in the way others have been there for me.

Together we can make 2019 the most amazing year ever!

Do you have a #oneword for this new year? Leave a comment to share your thoughts! I would love to know your focus word, too!

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family, kindness

Kindness Scavenger Hunt

December 30, 2018December 30, 2018 Tamara

On Christmas Day, I received a plain, white envelope from my middle child, Daniel. Inside was a cryptic note with $3 attached – money he provided from his own wallet. “It’s a Kindness Scavenger Hunt,” he announced. “It starts at Dunkin’ Donuts tomorrow!”

The next day we jumped into my car – just he and I – to jumpstart a journey of joy!

“Welcome to the Scavenger hunt adventure, but as you will see this isn’t your normal spelling bee.
Whenever you’re ready, let’s go Mommy, to buy someone’s Dunkin’ Donut coffee.”

Dunkin’ Delight – RAK 1

I wrote a quick note for the stranger explaining why they were getting a free coffee, then Daniel and I walked into the Dunkin’ Donuts coffee shop.

I approached the counter as the cashier smiled, ready to take my order. “I would like to buy a coffee, please, but not for myself. I want to prepay for a coffee and you can surprise someone with it instead.”

The cashier was a little confused by my request at first, so I elaborated. “I have three dollars to spend and I want to buy someone’s coffee but nobody is in here. Can I just buy the coffee now and the next person that comes in and orders a coffee is good to go because I already paid for them? You can put any change in your tip jar if you like!”

He glanced at the drive-thru window and said, “Someone just ordered a coffee! You can buy it for them!” How exciting to complete this act of kindness right in the moment! I quickly gave him my money, then asked if I could take his photo as he handed my note to the guest in the drive-thru.

My note for the stranger with cash for the coffee.

The cashier giving the note to the stranger in the drive-thru.

How fun was that? This quick RAK brought us such joy! As we turned to make our way out of the coffee shop, Daniel directed my attention to the light switch by the door.

Another clue.

Another RAK.

The adventure continues!

“Round and round the gumballs will show, but where will these four quarters go?”

Four quarters were taped to the back of the clue.

Kroger Candy – RAK 2

It was very convenient that our local Kroger supermarket was in the same shopping plaza as Dunkin’ Donuts – and the first place I could think of that still had old-fashioned gumball machines! Daniel and I headed that way and filled the machines with quarters to create a joyful surprise for some kiddos who would visit soon.

We picked the gumball machines lowest to the floor for little eyes to discover.

Then we added two quarters to this one – a jackpot win for one little kiddo!

(If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you know how much I adore our local Kroger. Other acts of kindness here include Remembering Mr. Leon, First Birthday in Heaven and even my very first act of kindness for Celebrate Kindness!)

This time my next clue was taped to the plastic bag recycling bin beside the sliding doors. Where would our adventures take us next?

“A meal that kids eat a bit, and I think that they are lovin’ it!”

Happy Meal Joy – RAK 3

If you guessed “McDonald’s” as the location of our next act of kindness, you would be correct! It was time to surprise someone with a paid Happy Meal!

Daniel and I right before we performed our next RAK.

As a mom of three, I know how excited little kids get to receive a happy meal. I also know that this RAK would bring joy to a mom or dad, too, because everyone enjoys a free meal, especially when it’s an unexpected surprise!

We prepaid for the Happy Meal with the cashier shouting to the drive-thru crew, “Don’t make that happy meal – she’s paying for someone else!”

As we started to leave the restaurant, lo and behold there was another clue hanging on the Christmas tree in the lobby, this one leading us back to our home.

“The last gift cannot be beat, located at… (our address)”

As we made our way back home, it was impossible to contain our smiles and laughter. “Are you having so much fun?” Daniel asked.

Yes!

So. Much. Fun!

Homemade Happiness – RAK 4

When we arrived home, I told Daniel we needed to take a photo by the door. He agreed, then after the fourth selfie of the day (you KNOW how much I adore selfies!), Daniel whispered, “Look down.”

There, at my feet, was another clue waiting to be discovered.

“The ‘happy place’ is what it’s called; the first drawer is where it’s installed.”

My happy place.

Do you have a happy place in your home? A special area that you can call your own, that brings you immense joy every time you sit or stand there? A place that fills your heart, calms your soul, and reminds you that everything is right with the world?

I do.

It’s my writing desk in my Joy Room.

Following the clue, I opened the top desk drawer to discover… another clue!

“Happiness is found along the way… not at the end of the journey” ~Darunee Williams

“But if you want your actual present, it is located in the drawer below this segment.”

So I opened the bottom drawer and discovered a personalized gift for ME:

“This coupon is redeemable for two hours with the thermostat at 78 degrees or lower.”

I laughed so hard at this coupon, I nearly fell on the floor!

See, in my house there is an ongoing war about what temperature the thermostat should be set on. I am the ONLY person in the entire house who is constantly cold. In fact, I even wear fleece jackets in the blazing heat of summer. (Shhhh – don’t tell!)

Since my husband is a conservationist, I am never afforded the luxury of blasting the heat in my home to my heart’s content. Instead, you will often find me bundled up under blankets, curled up in the corner of my sofa, trying to stay warm.

As you might guess, winter is my least favorite season.

This coupon was a gift of indulgence.

As my incredible Kindness Scavenger Hunt came to a close, I hugged my sweet fifteen-year-old son and thanked him for the unexpected joy in the journey. His creativity, ingenuity, and thoughtfulness took kindness to a whole new level.

When you begin to live your life as a Kindness Cultivator, others take notice and want to help you scatter seeds of kindness, too.

Perhaps this story will inspire you to create a Kindness Scavenger Hunt of your own. If you do, let me know! I’m sure it will create ripples of kindness every place you go!

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kindness

Kindness Boomerang

December 27, 2018December 27, 2018 Tamara

A common question I receive about my acts of kindness is, “Do you ever hear back from the people who receive your RAKs (random acts of kindness)?”

Yes.

Yes, I do.

When I began my kindness journey six years ago, it was with intentional purpose to share the stories with others while also providing a way for kindness recipients to get an “insider’s view” of what led up to their specific kindness or why it had meaning to me. It’s a fun way to keep the conversation going, keep the kindness spreading, and also becomes a living journal of my adventures.

I also LOVE surprises and nothing beats the surprise of having someone reach out to let you know they received your kind act! It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it can transform an ordinary day into a magical moment!

While I share several of these heartfelt “kindness boomerangs” in my new book, A Passion for Kindness, (which will be released in February – just around the corner!), I had another one happen on Christmas Day and it made my heart soar once again.

As many of you know, one of my favorite kindness days of the year is RAK Friday, where I go out in the crowds of Black Friday shoppers and do lots of little acts of kindness wherever I go. One of the RAKs I completed was jotting down a note of affirmation and encouragement and leaving it inside of a “Be Kind” purse at a local store.

I took a photo of the note, tucked it inside the bag, said a little prayer that whoever would find it would be blessed, and went on about my day.

This is the message I received on Christmas Day – a comment posted to my website:

The next day I received an email from the mom, Rita, that included these photos:

Rita shared that the purse was a gift from her childhood friend for her daughter, Maria, who is “known for her kindness to others.” It was such a thrill to hear how this RAK was discovered and to know another seed of kindness will scatter to others!

Have you received a surprise act of kindness this holiday season? I would love to hear your stories, too! Comment below and let’s keep the kindness going!

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family, reflection

Ornamental Memories

December 23, 2018December 23, 2018 Tamara

As we prepare for the holiday season, it’s fun to reflect on our family traditions and those things that warm the heart. One of my favorite traditions actually begins in November with the decorating of our Christmas tree.

In years past we have waited until December to put up the tree, but with our children growing older and time constraints with weekend activities, we’ve slowly inched our way into November, putting the tree up the weekend after Black Friday (or RAK Friday, if you’ve been following my blog for a while.) Much to the chagrin of my middle child, Daniel, the past two years we’ve put the tree up the Wednesday before Thanksgiving simply out of convenience, to which he quickly laments, “Can we finish one holiday before we start another one?”

He makes me laugh.

Ever since the children were little, we have given them full reign for decorating the tree. We aren’t caught up in competing with the Joneses for the most perfectly decorated evergreen, so whatever the kids do to our tree is acceptable and loved.

There have been years where all the ornaments were clumped in one section, marking the height of the youngest who could only reach so far. We stopped adding tinsel when the kids were babies, and our tree topper changes each year as the kids take turns choosing their favorites.

We’ve had weighted ornaments pulling down limbs, dragging their glittered sparkles along the floor as traditional white lights glisten in the background. We’ve swept up broken glass from the ornaments caught by the cat and one year had the entire base of the tree empty to avoid a toddler from grabbing and pulling off ornaments, nearly toppling over the tree.

When we decorate, we have Christmas music playing as the children wait anxiously to open the official ornament box, a well-worn, simple cardboard box with layers of clear packing tape along the edges marking decades of travel and use. With a slice of the scissors across the seam, the box bursts open and we are reminded again of the memories this unassuming container holds.

Our ornaments vary from handmade to store-bought, each playing a role in the stories of our family, from reminders of our wedding day in 1994 to each year a new child arrived. When we first got married, so many years ago, our Christmas tree was a meager three foot tree that stood on our cedar chest in the living room, a thread of popcorn and cranberries wrapped around to compensate for the lack of ornaments we could afford to buy or make. Since that time, our tree has grown well over six feet with countless memories captured and on display.

As part of our #CompelledTribe task to spotlight a treasured holiday tradition this month, I would love to share a few ornaments with you with the stories that make them special. Perhaps they will fondly remind you of the ornamental memories you have in your home, too!

Joyeux Noël

I love when teachers carve out time in their busy teaching scheduled to allow time for students to create holiday gifts for their families. Oh, if they only knew what treasures these are! When Daniel was in fifth grade, his teacher, Mrs. Post, challenged them to create a cross-stitched ornament to give away.

Even though I was an avid cross-stitcher in my youth, my son had no clue this used to be a passion of mine. He was simply completing the task set before him. However, with each needle he flossed and each stitch he created, he poured himself into making a memory that captured time, dedication, talent, and love. Each year he chooses to hang this ornament and we recall all his favorite teachers in the process. He always reminds me that he didn’t finish the bottom part, and I always remind him that it’s perfect the way it is.

I love that he proudly displays this on our tree and never once worried about someone teasing him for cross-stitching a gift. He knew then, as he knows now, that this gift has my heart for so many reasons!

Pinky Joy

As we decorated our tree last year, our sweet cat, Pinky, curled underneath, her white fur blending in with the white trimmed edge of our tree skirt. Two weeks before Christmas, with both Katrina and I out of town, she passed away after almost a decade in our care.

This year, we have a JOY ornament to celebrate the joy she brought into our lives as the only cat we’ve ever owned. She was given to us by a friend and was the cuddliest cat you’ve ever seen. She was a princess in our home, an indoor cat who loved to taunt Flash, the neighborhood boy cat who would stretch out along our front porch, purring for attention.

Our youngest child, Caleb, adored Pinky and she cemented in him the idea that cats really do rule the world. She loved to chase a long, green fishing line around the house and greeted everyone at the door as if she was the maître d’. He made sure this ornament was front and center on our tree this year.

Our Family – 2009

In 2009, I was a new mom again, having given birth to my third child a mere nine weeks before. As a Christmas gift from Mom Letter, we received the annual Hallmark ornament, a cute little gingerbread house with a place to spotlight a family photo.

As any new mom can attest, I was exhausted and frazzled that holiday season and ended up packing away the ornament without replacing the stock photo that came with the frame. When 2010 arrived, I hung the ornament on the tree without paying attention to the fact that I had neglected to change out the photo.

During that holiday season, someone pointed out the error and in the moment, I simply laughed at my ignorance, passing off the faux pas with a joke. At the end of the season, I packed away the ornament once more, the photo unchanged.

Each year when I see this ornament I chuckle, remembering the year I was too busy to add a photo. Now, I have plenty of time to make the switch, but the memory is so funny to my soul that I keep the ornament as it is, and hang it from our tree. I am reminded of the pursuit for perfection, at which I fail miserably quite often, and the peaceful contentment that comes with accepting myself just the way I am.

School Photo Simplicity

As mentioned above, I love ornaments made in school. When I was in Mrs. Norwood’s fourth grade class, we had a PTA parent use a copy of our fourth grade school picture to create a personalized ornament for our family. I proudly gave this ornament to my mom and she carefully hung the delicate ceramic near some other handmade ornaments I had created over the years.

Of the decades of school photos I brought home, this was the only one I ever liked. I remember my mom being so excited for me to wear the green corduroy jumper, my monogrammed initials woven in navy blue across the front. My hair was long, as it is now, a simple hairstyle with a part in the middle.

When my mom passed away last year, her husband Bob gave me the ornaments I had made for her in my childhood as part of my Christmas gift. This particular ornament brought me to tears, as the flood of memories poured into my heart, the heartbreaking loss of my mom all the more real.

Now the ornament is hung on my tree, tucked a bit within, almost 40 years old in the making. Perhaps, one day, it will hang on the tree of my children and grandchildren, too.

Now that the kids are older and taller, I no longer have to hang the higher ornaments and I can sit back and watch the transformation take place in front of my eyes. It is truly a magical moment to behold! We often finish our task with hot chocolate and a cookie or two, and finish decorating the rest of our home to be ready for the holidays.

If you have a treasured tradition, I would love for you to comment below! It’s always fun to get to know one another better with the moments that resonate on the heart.

From our family to yours, we wish you a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and restful time to restore and renew as we look forward to a brand new year around the corner!

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education, ITRT, kindness

Special Delivery

December 10, 2018December 22, 2018 Tamara

As a technology integrator assigned to two schools, it sometimes gets a little confusing to know which day I’m at which location. Even though I have my calendar linked to my email signature, and have signs in both schools letting others know of my whereabouts (and they are consistent from week to week), I am often asked, “When are you going to be here again?”

The email I received two weeks ago from one school’s secretary was brief and concise: “Please come to the office today. You have a special delivery.” Intrigued and a bit perplexed, I responded back, letting her know that I wasn’t at her school that day, but I would be there the next morning. “You received flowers,” she replied, “Come today if you can.” As luck would have it, my day was jam-packed with lessons, collaborations, and an after-school professional development session, all of which prevented me from leaving the other building until almost 5:00 pm. The flowers would have to wait until the morning.

The next day, as I made my way into the front office, I scanned the desks and caught a glimpse of a beautiful poinsettia plant. Excited that this might be my special delivery, I smiled at the secretary, expecting her to hand me the poinsettia. Instead, she handed me a box.

A box of… flowers? This was a first for me! In my 40+ years of life, I’ve received flowers a handful of times, but they’ve always arrived in a vase with water for a specific occasion. Who sent me flowers in a box? And why?

As I pondered the mystery aloud, our systems operator (Sysop), Jason, approached me, vase in hand, and said, “I can walk with you back to your classroom and explain what happened.” This intrigued me even more! I didn’t know who sent me flowers, had no clue why, and now something “happened” that needed explanation! What in the world was this all about?

As we walked to the computer lab, Jason filled me in. “The day before Thanksgiving break, I was leaving for the day and saw a box with your name on it. The side of the box said “Benchmark Bouquets,” so I figured there were probably flowers inside. You weren’t here and I didn’t know how to get a hold of you. I knew the flowers wouldn’t make it a week in a box, so I took them home and put them in water then ordered another set of flowers to be delivered so you could still have your surprise.”

Let that sink in for a moment.

This man, who barely even knows me (I’ve only been working in their school two days a week for the past few months), spent his own money to repurchase flowers so that I might still experience the joy and wonder of surprise.

His kindness brought me to tears!

Opening the box, I discovered that the flowers had been sent from my home school, Mechanicsville Elementary, in celebration of being named an R.E.B. Award for Teaching Excellence recipient during a recent ceremony. Jason had saved the message from the original delivery and handed it to me as I hugged him for his incredible empathy and compassion.

We took a photo together to capture the moment and I spent the remainder of the day in awe of the kindness of others. Despite the original communication snafu, I was able to properly thank my administrators for the beautiful flower arrangement and thank my Sysop for his incredible act of generosity.

Sometimes the special deliveries we plan in our mind aren’t always delivered in the ways we expect. Perhaps that’s because there’s a greater story to be told in the process. I will always remember this moment, not simply as an acknowledgment of an accomplishment, but the humbling reminder of the power of kindness.

Jason could have easily walked past that box without a second glance. He didn’t have to take action. When he realized flowers were inside, he didn’t have to take them home. He most certainly was under no obligation whatsoever to spend his own money to replace them.

But he did.

Stories like these are why I wrote A Passion for Kindness, which will be released in February 2019. Each day we have countless opportunities to impact other lives in a positive way! While many prefer to keep their acts of kindness silent and hidden away (and that’s great!), I’m here to amplify the good, sharing stories of real people stepping out of their comfort zones to make this world a better place for others.

These beautiful flowers remind me that there are incredibly kind people in this world. May you have the courage to be kind to others in extraordinary ways, too!