covid-19 – Tamara Letter

In the Eye of the Hurricane

October 31, 2020November 1, 2020 Tamara

As far back as I can remember, I have been transfixed by severe weather, specifically thunderstorms and hurricanes. My childhood home included a sunroom, where three sides of transparent glass encased a room filled with floral patterned furniture and a large ceiling fan. Many afternoons were spent in that space, a juxtaposition of calm and serenity as thunder boomed and lightning lit the sky beyond the sunroom walls.

My first trip to Disney World as a teenager ended early due to Hurricane Elena‘s arrival in Orlando, Florida. Years later, I would find myself newly married, living almost 1,000 miles away from friends and family, forced to evacuate my two-bedroom apartment along the Gulf Coast of Florida as Hurricane Alberto (downgraded to Tropical Storm Albe rt o right before landfall) made its way onshore. The next year, another mandatory evacuation forced me all the way to Georgia, seeking shelter hundreds of miles from our Air Force base housing, as Hurricane Opal, a category 4 storm, crushed the landscape of our coastal town.

Ten years later, my first child would share the name of one of the most catastrophic hurricanes to hit the United States. I recently discovered a home video where I had recorded a Weather Channel broadcast of Hurricane Katrina approaching New Orleans, LA and I still have the newspaper that declared New Orleans spared from severe damage the morning after, just hours before the levees broke and flooded the city.

Daily News-Record newspaper, August 30, 2005

Those closest to me know that I still have “Take a selfie with Jim Cantore” on my bucket list. It’s also no surprise that I was drawn to the story of Jet Stream Jax, an eight-year-old storm chaser from Houston, TX who raised funds to rebuild playgrounds following Hurricane Harvey (and spotlighted in Chapter 3 of my book, A Passion for Kindness.)

I am no stranger to the devastation a hurricane can bring. I have sifted through muck and mire to help others find something, anything, of value left behind. I have watched, helpless, as all my belongings were shoveled out of a storage unit along the New River during my college days, the result of flooded riverbanks from a severe storm. I even attended my own baby shower in 95 degree heat with limited water when Hurricane Isabe l left my hometown without electricity for more than a week.

Richmond Times-Dispatch newspaper, September 2003

Opening presents and playing Bingo with no power.
Notice the newspaper headline near my chair.

A page from my scrapbook, documenting the hurricane-impacted festivities.

My sweet Aunt Edith, determined to keep the punch cold no matter what!

My Grandma Payne used to joke that I brought rainy days wherever I went. Our yearly family picnics in the mountains are preserved with snapshots of windshield wipers, rain-soaked views of mountains, and a kaleidoscope of umbrellas covering soggy fried chicken and biscuits. Even the Virginia State Fair, which includes my birthday week, gets rained out year after year. My first week living in Las Vegas resulted in more than four inches of rain – a record for the desert that time of year.

And yet, I find my greatest peace in the midst of the storm.

There is a line from the musical, Hamilton, that makes my heart skip a beat each time I hear it. “In the eye of the hurricane, there is quiet… for just a moment… a yellow sky.” If you’ve ever seen the play or the movie on Disney+, you might remember this pivotal scene as Alexander Hamilton is crushed by his own demise, the storm of his personal choices and circumstance swirling around him when suddenly everything stops.

Time freezes.

Movements halt.

But the ground is not still. It continues to circle around, even as everything is paused for the moment. People and objects begin to slowly swirl in their silence as the audience is catapulted right inside the middle of the storm.

This is where my life is right now.

I am standing in the eye of the hurricane.

The past eight weeks have been nothing short of a hurricane in my world. My work as a technology integrator and instructional coach has swept me away with rain bands of responsibilities, flooded by requests for support and success.

I have tried to seek shelter from the storm, but right when I reach the line of safety, another gust of wind knocks me off my feet, unbalanced, as I am pulled back into the chaos. I am sacrificing family time for timelines of others, a tactic of survival, not sustainability.

It’s also birthday season in my world, with all three of my children, myself, and several nieces, nephews, and extended family celebrating birthdays each week from the end of August to the end of October (with a few more scattered in November.) This is always a busy time, as my priority for celebrating loved ones takes center stage. This year, however, the stage is an eye wall of unbalanced metrics, with the eye of the hurricane shrinking smaller in the midst.

But I made it to the middle.

I am standing in the eye.

There is silence.

Stability.

Security.

Even if only for a moment.

I take a breath.

I stop and stand in awe of the world around me.

I look to the sky for the sliver of sunlight that streams through the clouds.

I am reminded of my purpose.

My passion.

My perspective.

My value.

And as the winds start to shift with the weight of elections, COVID concerns, holiday seasons, and racial divides, I am reminded that no storm lasts forever.

I can seek shelter if needed.

I can battle the winds that remain.

I can survive the rising water with my head held high.

I can.

I can.

And you can, too.

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kindness

Kindness Boomerang – Time and Talent

July 12, 2020July 12, 2020 Tamara

“As soon as I saw it, I knew it was meant for you!”

It was a simple gift, given to me by my forever friend, Lisa, to celebrate the one year anniversary of my book being published: a collection of fabric pieces with dandelions scattered about, in shades of turquoise, teal, and blue.

Only problem?

I don’t sew.

Lisa, having known me for more than half my life, realized this, of course. “I couldn’t resist it! It called your name and matched your book! Maybe you will think of some creative way to use them.”

It was a sweet gift indeed, and made me smile that she would think of me. I neatly tucked the fabric squares in my desk drawer and figured inspiration might appear when I least expected it.

Then COVID-19 happened. Just a few weeks after our book celebrations, we were quarantined at home and everything we used to know as normal was turned upside-down and inside-out. Several of my friends lost their jobs and had to reinvent themselves to push forward and make ends meet.

One of my friends, Nikki, a mom of four, was included in that casualty. She had previously started a small side business making crafts for others; now her hobby became her lifeline as she began making fabric face masks to support her family. She even blessed us with some of her first mask prototypes back in March!

Now, as we look towards returning back to school for the fall, I realized we needed more masks. My daughter, a rising college senior, needs them for her tutoring job and in-person classes on campus, so I asked Nikki if I could order several to have them ready for August. She asked for my daughter’s favorite colors/patterns and I placed my order.

She had them made and delivered the very next day.

As I was paying for the items I suddenly remembered the fabric squares Lisa had given me months ago. “I would love to purchase one more mask if I could.” I handed her the fabric, tags still attached. “It doesn’t matter which of these fabric squares you choose for the mask. I know whatever you make will be perfect. Keep the rest of the fabric to bless someone else or do whatever you like!”

Even though the fabric was a gift to me originally, it made my heart happy to have it used for something practical with an added bonus of blessing someone else as a pay-it-forward. I gave Nikki the fabric and went on with my day.

Two days later, Nikki was ready to deliver my mask. What she didn’t tell me is that she had a Kindness Boomerang in store for me when she arrived.

This amazing friend of mine took the fabric I had given her and made not one, not two, but FIVE masks – one for each day of the workweek – and a sunglasses case AND A PERSONALIZED BAG! She even included a handmade card, filled with beautiful flowers crafted from delicate strips of colored paper.

She shared with me all the features of her crafts – the masks were reversible with fabric patterns on the back, soft flex ear coverings that wouldn’t pinch or fray, a nose wire to keep the mask closer to the face and prevent glasses fogging up. The bag included built-in pockets along the outside and inside – some large enough for a water bottle, iPad or journal, some small enough for a cell phone and sunglasses. It’s sturdy enough to stand on its own, but flexible enough to be worn over the shoulder as a purse or held by hands as a bag.

In our conversation, Nikki also revealed the inspiration of her business name “LolaJo_By Nikki Renee” which was named after two influential women in her life: her Grandma Jo and her Mammaw (Lola). Grandma Jo taught her how to sew; Lola believed in her and showed her unconditional love. Her face brightened with joy as she remembered the impact these ladies had on her upbringing.

She created these things for me with no expectation of payment. No request for public acknowledgment. Simply because I gave her some fabric and she wanted to do something kind for me.

A Kindness Boomerang from the heart.

I was overwhelmed by her generosity of time and talent. I’m still in awe, looking at her craftsmanship that sits on my desk as I write this post. I am humbled and thankful to have such caring friends in my midst.

When you give from the heart, you never know when one of those gifts might return to you as a Kindness Boomerang. It’s always a surprise when it happens, but it reminds you again and again of the good in the world!

Do you have people in your community circle who could benefit from some unexpected kindness this week? How might you be able to inspire and uplift those around you? What can you do to make this world a better place?

It’s easy to get sucked into the negativity you find out there – whether through posts on social media, personal conversations, or perspectives submitted to the local newspaper. It’s much more difficult to see the positive – that tends to get hidden from the mainstream sometimes.

Take a pause. Look for the good. See those around you and ask yourself, “What can I do to bring a little light and love to someone else today?”

We may not be able to solve all the world’s problems with the twist of a magic wand, but we sure can turn around someone’s day with kindness.

It’s those little things that matter most.

To see more LolaJo products, visit Instagram and Facebook.

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education, family, reflection

Fast Food Formal

May 2, 2020May 2, 2020 Tamara

Seven weeks of home quarantine.

So much has changed in the world these past seven weeks. All our spring activities were cancelled and the calendar which was once overflowing with daily commitments is now filled with Zoom meetings, online presentations, and virtual gatherings.

We’ve had to rethink and reimagine life as it is right now and what life might be in the coming weeks and months.

My daughter, Katrina, had to finish up her junior year of college at home. While not ideal, she and her college friends have tried their best to keep in contact throughout this time. It’s been challenging to find their way in this “new normal” (which is not normal at all!), but they’ve been able to use their resilience, perseverance, and creativity in new ways.

Each year, Katrina and her friends participate in “Fast Food Formal,” a fun social event promoted by InterVarsity. The Saturday night before Finals Week, students dress up, visit a fast food restaurant together, and connect for one last hurrah before the school year ends. They always take lots of fun photos, too.

This year, all the college kids are home, scattered miles away from one another. It seemed that this event, like all the other spring activities planned, might be cancelled, too.

That was not an option for Katrina.

There could still be a Fast Food Formal. It would simply have to be redesigned in a way it had never been done before.

Katrina came to me a few weeks ago for a brainstorming session on how to play games virtually. I shared with her all the fun I had joining in the weekly Social Distancing Trivia with Jennifer Casa-Todd’s family (and friends) which sparked an in-depth conversation about thematic games, online platforms, and communication logistics. If she wanted to bring Fast Food Formal to life, it would have to be a virtual event with activities that embodied fun, fellowship, and a few surprises along the way.

Katrina and her boyfriend, Brennan, decided to lead the event as co-hosts and spent hours refining ideas, making changes based on the needs of those who might be in attendance. They created a script, shared an overview with InterVarsity’s Exec team, and then prepared for the big event with online promos on Instagram Stories and TikTok.

Fast Food Forma promo advertisement. — Online Promo

Everyone who joined in Fast Food Formal would earn points throughout the night. They were encouraged to dress up and show which fast food restaurant they had visited prior to the event. Katrina and Brennan chose to visit Bojangles, and even invited the drive-thru cashier to be a part of their memory-making!

Katrina and Brennan in the Bojangles drive-thru. — Katrina and Brennan with the Bojangles drive-thru cashier.

The weather was a bit uncooperative as the scattered showers quickly turned into a downpour. Katrina and Brennan set up their hosting station along the outer fringes of our garage, the steady rain as their backdrop.

Katrina and Brennan hosting Fast Food Formal. — Katrina and Brennan hosting Fast Food Formal from our garage.

The event kicked off at 6pm and the virtual room quickly filled with college students ready to join together for two hours of fun. Everyone was encouraged to bring two items: a random wrapped object to be used for a White Elephant gift exchange (that would not be given away), and a white board or notebook with a marker so they could present answers to the camera.

Students would earn points for different tasks and edit their name in Zoom to display their current point value. All points were based on the honor system.

Subway Selfies

The first game provided one point to each student who took a selfie and texted it to Katrina or Brennan. If they were dressed in their finest attire, they received an additional point. Students were also encouraged to text a photo of their fast food of choice (including the logo) for an additional point.

Students using Zoom for Fast Food Formal — Capturing photos of one another on Zoom.

Fast Food Feud

This game was inspired by Family Feud where Brennan asked a question that would have 5-8 answers. The most popular answer would receive one point and as answers became harder they would be worth more points. If someone made a guess, but did not guess one of the answers, they received a strike with no points. After a question received two strikes, all answers were revealed and the next game was played.

Questions including the following:

Name something that never seems to be on time.
Name a place you hope has a really clean public restroom.
In the future, name something you have that will be better than the one you currently have.
Name something that’s good about living alone.
Name a big decision men take a long time to make.
Name something that starts with “Queen of…”
Name something you would hate to find a scratch on.
Name something a school teacher needs a lot of.

Intermission Superlatives – Round 1

I was invited to be an Intermission Superlative judge, awarding select students an additional five points for the following attire:

Most Spring
Ready to Walk the Red Carpet
Most Likely to Have Worn This the Past 5 Days of Quarantine

White Elephant-Fil-A

This game was a spin-off of the traditional White Elephant game where people bring random gifts to swap – some being “regifting-worthy” and others, well, not so much! While the students raced around their house to find a gift to share (and wrap with whatever they could – even a kitchen towel!), Brennan played waiting room music until everyone had returned to their screens.

They played this game in alphabetical order, asking all participants to hold up their wrapped objects, then the first person selected a gift. The same rules applied as the traditional game: each person could choose to open a wrapped gift or steal an unwrapped gift from someone else with the person who had the gift stolen then selecting a new gift. Unlimited steals were allowed and the item stolen the most would result in additional points for the person who provided that gift to the game.

In the end, the person who had the most popular gift stolen received 10 points and as an added surprise the person who ended up with that gift received 5 additional points.

Intermission Superlatives – Round 2

While another break was provided to students, more superlative points were awarded by Katrina and Brennan for the White Elephant-Fil-A items that were shared:

What would you most like to eat?
If you could only take one item to a deserted island, what would it be?
What would make a great replacement for an engagement ring during a propopsal?

The best part about these Superlatives is how they related to items brought:

Matthew brought the only food item, an avocado, so he won for “What would you most like to eat?”
Gamby won a point for bringing a pack of toilet paper, a current reference to the Coronavirus challenges we all face right now (and valuable for a deserted island, too!)
Nathan won a point for his Gucci belt as it was the most expensive item shared during the game and could have been a replacement for an engagement ring (although difficult to wear on your finger!)

CNU Fast Facts

For this quick intermission challenge, Brennan asked a question to all participants and whoever could type and send the correct answer first in the Zoom chat would receive three points per question. This was a great game for those students who felt more comfortable typing than speaking. Brennan prompted everyone with the following: “So get ready, because you are about to be typing faster than you type in those CRNs during course registration!”

Questions included the following:

What building is the secret garden located in?
Who was the dean before Paul Trible?
Name one midweek muffin flavor.
Name one dining hall worker.
Which on-campus ministry hosts the best Fast Food Formal?

Taco Bell Trivia Tell

For their final game, Katrina asked trivia questions about each student who attended Fast Food Formal. One student was chosen per question and asked to keep their answer in their head. Everyone else wrote what they thought the answer would be on a whiteboard or paper. Students then displayed their answers for everyone to see.

The person who was asked the question would share their answer aloud, then anyone else who had the same answer would receive one point. Each person kept track of their own points earned, then added those points to their total score in their Zoom name for all to see.

Awards

As Fast Food Formal came to a close, there was one last surprise to share – awards! Earlier in the week, Brennan has used his laser engraver to create two wooden trophies that could be displayed on a table or shelf (but also disassembled for a flat package to mail inexpensively to the winners.) Katrina and Brennan agreed that there should be two awards – one for the most points and one for the least. In true Fast Food Formal fashion, each award included a fast food reference:

Winner Winner Chick-Fil-A Dinner (most points)
So Close… Just Like The Popeye’s Chicken Sandwich (least points)

Katrina and Brennan ended Fast Food Formal with a high five as the event came to a close. Everyone agreed it was the best event they had ever attended in a quarantine!

The next time you are faced with a closed door to something that means so much, I encourage you to seek an open window. Never underestimate the power of positivity, determination, and teamwork for reimagining what could be. You just never know what you might create when you are committed to making things happen!

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family, reflection

Miracles, Wonder, and Joy

April 12, 2020April 12, 2020 Tamara

Easter Sunday 2020 will be frozen in time for families all across the world. Everything we’re used to doing – our family traditions and faith-filled celebrations – are overturned and moved to the side, much like the rock and empty tomb that was discovered on the third day after Jesus hung on the cross.

What we expect is not what what we see.

Instead of getting dressed in our Sunday best and attending church, we are still in our pajamas at 11:45 in the morning watching a live stream Easter service on our television screen. We won’t have an Easter egg hunt at Pappy’s house and the large Easter meal we usually share with Grandpa Letter and extended family will now be a small meal for my family of five in our home.

As I sat here this morning, thinking about the miracle of Jesus’ death then resurrection and ascension into heaven, I was nearly overcome by the wonder of it all. Oh, to be one of the women who discovered the empty tomb! The confusion they must have felt. It didn’t made sense. It seemed impossible. And yet… there they were, speaking to an angel, their hearts “afraid, yet filled with joy” (Matthew 28:8). Such a paradox.

Miracles. Wonder. Joy. These are the words resonating on my heart this morning. To experience the heartache of the darkest of days – the brutal crucifixion of a dear friend, a treasured son, and then… wonder. Amazement. Disbelief. Belief. An answer provided that sparked more questions. The joy of hope that death wasn’t the final condemnation. That there might be more beyond what we could imagine.

I am not now, nor have I ever claimed to be, a master theologian. In fact, if I had to do a self-analysis of my faith I would probably fall more within the lines of having a child-like faith. I don’t always know why and goodness knows I can’t articulate it to others when questioned on the spot. I just believe because I do. I feel it in my heart.

I was not raised in a Christian home, but I had people in my life who attended church regularly. I didn’t become part of a church family until I was in my mid-teens and my Grandma Payne guilt-tripped me into attending the first service of a newly-created Evangelical Quaker church that was holding services in a local elementary school. I started going to church with her each week and one year later, during a summer bible camp at Malone College in Canton, Ohio, I professed my new-found faith to others, choosing to live my life as a believer.

My spiritual journey has been a bit unconventional, and my faith has been tested time and time again, but one thing that remains constant is the overwhelming wonder and awe I experience in my life. Sometimes it’s as simple as a delicate flower swaying in the wind that takes my breath away. Other times it’s overwhelming like holding a newborn baby in my arms for the very first time. When I allow my heart to open wide and feel the emotions pouring in, I discover my faith is stronger, my beliefs reaffirmed.

I believe in the good of the world because I have seen the good of the world. Maybe not with my own eyes each time, but often through the experiences of others.

I don’t have answers for why bad things happen. I don’t try to convince others to believe what I believe because I know that God speaks to different people in different ways (even those who don’t believe in God at all.) When I hear that quiet whisper on my heart, I share my thoughts and take action because it makes sense to me, not necessarily because it will make sense to others. My belief is wrapped in the awe of miracles, the wonder of the unexplained, and the joy that comes in the morning.

Take a few moments to think about the miracles of your world. They are there! Think about your life experiences, those things that have happened before that have brought you to the place where you are today. Nothing short of a miracle, I would surmise. I think about my travels, my journey into motherhood, and the adventures throughout my career as an educator. WOW! So many miracles!

That’s when the wonder wraps around me like the warm beams of sunlight from above. Do I deserve any of these blessings in my life? Oh, goodness, no! So undeserving. But yet… here I am. I have a stable home filled with the laughter of children. I have a pantry with food and clean clothes to wear each day. I live in a country where our freedoms extend beyond basic convention. Even in times of a national quarantine, I am caught in the wonder of what I have and the opportunity to share my purpose and passion with the world.

Friends, there is joy to be found, not just on Easter Sunday, but each and every day we are alive! Some days the joy might be harder to find, but it’s there if we just look past the negativity and strife.

Do you have any huge boulders in your life blocking the light from shining through? Perhaps you are trapped in the tomb of indecision or paralyzed by the fear of the unknown? The weight of the world may be so heavy on your shoulders that you simply cannot take another step forward.

It’s OK. You are not alone. Lay down your load. Stop and take a breath. Instead of focusing on the rock that’s blocking your view, focus on the miracle of that little sliver of light shining through.

Because one day, when you least expect it, you’re going to wake up and that rock is going to be rolled away.

And the miracle of that transition will wrap your heart with such wonder and joy that it will take every ounce of self-control not to shout it to the world.

One day soon, we will not be stuck in our homes for a mandatory lockdown.

One day soon, we will be allowed to gather again, with friends, families, and those who matter to us.

One day soon, we will leave our tomb of entrapment and discover the miracle of life beyond that which we knew before.

One day soon, we will be whole and complete again.

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family, kindness, reflection

Kindness in Quarantine

March 21, 2020April 7, 2020 Tamara

“Everything will be OK.”

These were the words I repeated to myself as my brain swirled with edges of panic. It was 2009 and my ten-year-old daughter’s test results had come back positive for the highly contagious swine flu, a variant of the H1N1 virus that was quickly becoming a pandemic.

We were told by our child’s pediatrician that swine flu was greatly impacting children and extremely dangerous for young children, especially newborns. The doctor’s recommendation was quick and to the point.

“It would be best for you to quarantine your daughter at home, away from other siblings and family members. You and your baby should stay in a hotel or another safe place until she has recovered.”

I remember the shock of his words.

I remember the confusion.

I remember the fear.

As a mom of three, I felt like the diagnosis was an ultimatum: Which child do you love the most? While it seems a bit dramatic to recall those emotions more than a decade ago, that’s exactly how I felt in the moment. Do I sacrifice the caretaking of my oldest child, who might take a turn for the worst, to protect the possibility of death to my three-week-old?

It was an impossible choice to make.

A family photo of me with my children, one week before Katrina was diagnosed with swine flu.

We didn’t have the money for a week-long hotel stay nor the resources to stay with someone who wasn’t impacted by the virus. We made the difficult decision to quarantine Katrina in her bedroom upstairs, while I stayed downstairs with baby Caleb, day and night.

With the exception of walking to the bathroom, two doors down the hall, Katrina never left her room, her door always closed. We placed meals on a tray that was left outside her door, then I would shout up the stairs that her meal was ready. When she was done, she would leave her dirty dishes on the hallway floor for us to collect and clean.

Even though I didn’t see her for a week, just knowing we were in the same home was comforting. I would write little messages and leave them outside her door. I would wrap up little trinkets I found around the house so she could have a surprise to open and make her smile.

In 2009, social media wasn’t quite the expansive connector that it is today, so Katrina spent much of her recovery time watching old VHS videos and cable TV. She read books. She drew pictures. She slept. Days were long and monotonous.

As a family, our life changed overnight. Family gatherings were cancelled. Katrina’s birthday party was rescheduled. No visitors were allowed inside our home. We created our own social distancing for the safety of our children and others.

We didn’t worry about schoolwork. We didn’t bicker about tasks left undone. This was our new normal and we adjusted the best we could.

Our daughter eventually recovered and our newborn and middle child were not impacted by the illness. We counted ourselves lucky and blessed beyond measure. My greatest takeaway during that time of uncertainty was the importance of kindness, laughter, and love.

Kindness in Crisis Matters

My daughter missed more than a week of school at the start of her fifth grade year. Instead of her teacher sending piles of papers home for us to complete, she simply sent messages of encouragement, acknowledging our situation and reassuring us that it was OK to take things one day at a time. She even stopped by our house one evening and left a care package filled with coloring/activity books, art supplies, and books to read. The memory of Katrina waving to Mrs. Seeber from her bedroom window was heartbreaking and comforting at the same time.

People sent Katrina birthday cards and notes in the mail which was the highlight of each day. We also had wonderful friends from church and work who made sure we were fed, leaving meals on our doorstep or providing gift cards for pizza delivery. Those little reminders that we were part of a community helped to ease the suffocation of isolation.

Laughter Lightens the Load

As a family, our first line of defense was to find something to laugh about. Not in the demeaning, making-fun-of-people kind of way, but more along the lines of this-is-so-ridiculous-you-could-not-make-this-up. Our middle child, Daniel, created his own swine flu knock-knock jokes. We would listen to the nightly news reporting stats of people around the country infected and we would interject our own commentary, reporting on what was REALLY happening in our home of quarantine, like the fact that our daughter was serving time in a bedroom prison before she was old enough to even have a curfew. (She would later tell us that she actually enjoyed the time away from us and we responded with shocked horror, knowing now that she is an introvert who actually values quiet time to herself!)

Weeks later, when Katrina had fully recovered, she decided to turn her experience into a one-of-a-kind Halloween costume. She dressed as a pig wearing a sign around her neck saying, “Boo-to-You, I’m Swine Flu!” While some may not share our perspective on humor in the midst of a crisis, we needed to laugh about trivial things so we didn’t get swallowed up by the panic and hype.

Katrina’s Halloween costume in 2009 – “Boo to You, I’m Swine Flu!”

Love Heals Everything

During the time of Katrina’s quarantine, I felt helpless as a mom. I couldn’t fix the situation. I couldn’t control anything. I didn’t leave the house and my world of connections became minuscule overnight. Isolation during that time was dreadful and each day was as slow as molasses dripping in the pan. (Yes, I realize that analogy may not create a visual for you, but my Grandma Payne would have been overjoyed to know that I actually included molasses in my blog post, lol.)

While I couldn’t control what was happening to my family of five, I could, however, control my response to it. Each day I made the choice to love my family in every way I could. I put Caleb down when he was sleeping and offered to play a game with Daniel. I prayed for Katrina’s healing and sent well wishes to others with sick children, too. I wrote thank-you notes to those who had stopped by to visit us when Caleb was born (before the quarantine) and to those who brought us meals that were left on our front porch. I gave myself a little extra grace on those days when the emotions bubbled to the top and the tears of exhaustion trickled down my cheeks.

Now, here we are. More than a decade later, we are facing another pandemic, but this time I am not alone in the journey. There is something strangely comforting in knowing it’s a shared experience.

This week has been challenging to process all the changes, and I will quickly admit that it’s been a trigger of sorts for me, reliving the challenges and fears of swine flu in the midst of the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic. Like you, I don’t have any answers, only more questions. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. The uncertainty weighs heavy on my heart, but I am choosing to focus on the things that pull me through when times are tough.

Kindness.

Laughter.

Love.

Be well, my dear readers, and if you feel yourself being swallowed up by the pressures and panic of these current events, reach out to me or another friend in your world. You are not alone. You are doing all you can to hold things together.

Breathe.

We will get through this and everything will be OK.